


las'hark

by blue_meets_green



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Choices, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Love, M/M, Past Character Death, Past and Present, Possessive Spock, Post-Star Trek Beyond, Slow Burn, pining jim
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_meets_green/pseuds/blue_meets_green
Summary: Sometimes we do not realize what is in front of us, until it is no longer there. If there is one greater force in our lives that compels us to action, then it is love.A series of notations and steps taken between Jim and Spock, leading each to the other.





	1. The Eyes are the Window to the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts with the eyes and Jim finds he cannot look away. Spock discovers more than he realizes when it comes to one individual in the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a found a post on Tumblr on a few writing prompts for Supernatural and decide I could to apply it (with some changes) to Star Trek for a story. 
> 
> Note: the writing prompts are in Jim Kirk's personal log.

 

 

  
  
  
**Personal Log of James T. Kirk**

  
**Refrain from lengthy eye contact**

**Don’t think at length about his eyes. Don’t look into them for a very long time either. In fact, if you look into his eyes too long, look away as soon as you notice. Don’t compare them to chocolate, the soft fur of a teddy bear or any well-known attractive soft brown things.**

 

  **\+       +       +**

 

It did not matter how long they had been working together, the best command team in the fleet and Jim felt there was still so much to learn about Spock.

The first thing he noticed about the Vulcan was before the hearing as Jim requested to see the person who made such as claim on the cadet’s “cheating” the Kobayashi Maru was _**his eyes**_.

  

 

 

  
They were unlike a Vulcan, not hardened from years of discipline but soft and expressive yet dark and mysterious. It was if they were piercing the very soul of James T. Kirk. While at a distance Spock’s eyes seem dark and distant, Jim knew them to be on the contrary as soft and inviting. Aware those eyes clearly held intelligence, however Jim knew there was more behind them: eyes capable of love, capable of many emotions and incredibly sensitive for a half Vulcan.  
  
When Jim viewed those eyes as Spock stood on the transporter pad. Jim felt the sadness and emptiness of those eyes with the loss of a mother Spock still needed whether he knew it or not.

Jim surmised Amanda Grayson probably had seen in her son’s eyes all that her human legacy had given to Spock even if the young man displayed it or not. It was a comfort knowing her son held her eyes which displayed everything, his thoughts and feelings of sentiment. Spock had her eyes and Jim thought him even more beautiful because of it.

When in the heat of anger bent on harming Jim on the bridge of the Enterprise after returning from Delta Vega, he felt the intensity of those milk chocolate eyes as they looked into his.  It was as if no one else was on the bridge but just Spock and him, regardless of the circumstance on how it came about.

Jim felt guilty pushing Spock well past the brink of being emotionally compromised. He felt even more ashamed it was the first moment of close contact between both men, How he wished it was some other moment which brought Jim’s emotions for the man to the forefront.

Now years later, Jim is still affected by those eyes.

Sitting in the command chair, Jim looks down to his P.A.D.D.  where he views reports from the various departments.  It is a chore as Jim comes across countless errors and wonders if anyone ever took a grammar in primary school and then he sees it.  Spock’s report is punctual having never been sent in late, concise and to the point as always.

“Well Mr. Spock….”

As Jim turns to thank his first officer who is seated at the science officer station, chocolate brown meet Bombay Sapphire blue.  Jim is speechless as tries to look away however the intensity of the pull is too strong and he can’t help but feel drawn to them.

 

 

 

“Is there something you wish to convey Captain?”

Feeling the swirling chasm of emotions on the edge of bursting, Jim attempts to swallow them down.

_“Think man, Think”  
_

“Mr. Spock has anyone ever informed you that you have brown eyes like chocolate, even like a teddy bear?” Jim whispers to himself however with Vulcan hearing Spock is able to detect it.

“Your report was satisfactory.” Jim offers instead.

Spock nods, aware he could ask the captain to clarify but refrains from doing so.  Humans have odd ways of communicating by offering what some consider impersonal so easily but have just as much difficulty conveying emotions as Vulcans.

Nyota was not one who held back such emotion when they were involved. She displayed her feelings out in the open as one would wear clothing for all to see. It was not a simple task for one such as Spock.

Having heard there are individuals who bring out such emotion in others, Spock quickly thinks of the Captain. No other individual can bring Spock’s emotions to the surface as a volcano on Nibiru. The volcanoes came about because the gravitational pull of the gas giants caused the core of the other planet to super heat.

Spock knew he felt the human’s gravitational pull, bringing about his own emotions he thought long since had been disciplined after hours of deep meditation. The Captain was able to unravel Spock in ways no one had. The Vulcan teaching of Surak never encountered James T. Kirk and if Surak had, Spock wondered what his forefather would have done?

In that Volcano, Spock thought of the only one person and it was not Nyota… it was Jim. His thoughts were of those bright blue eyes filled with wonder, with imagination and life to go on without him. The Vulcan felt empty at such a thought.

When the Captain saved his life, Spock tried to rationalize why would this man do so and found no logic to it. He did not understand why the man broke protocol in exposing the ship to the natives and in doing so went against the Prime Directive.

It was not until the Captain saved the ship and crew from Khan, Jim risking his life again but this time making the ultimate sacrifice knowing there was no coming back.

_As Spock runs toward the corridors leading to Warp Core in Engineering, he knows.. he feels something is wrong. Seeing Lt. Commander Scott’s face confirms it. Spock looks upon the compartment where Jim slowly crawls into. Kneeling Spock views the man he has befriended, the man he admires._

_All that is heard is Jim’s erratic breathing no doubt brought on by radiation poisoning his body taking away what little life is left in the young man._ _Bombay_ _Sapphire eyes once bright now shown dimly lit,  half open showing the weariness of his condition. Spock has never seen the human so frail._

_“How’s our ship?” Jim whispers._

_“Out of danger.” Spock replies._

_“Good..” Jim breathes out heavily._

_“You saved the crew” Spock confesses._

_“You used what he wanted against him.” Taking in what breath he can Jim adds, “That’s a nice move.”_

_Spock leans in closer his voice breaking, “It is what you would have done.”_

_Jim’s eyelids briefly close then open glazing into chocolate brown. “This is what you would have done.. it is only logical.”_  
  
_They are separated by glass but it does not separate the mixture of emotions felt between both men.  Pleading eyes pierce into Spock's soul and he cannot help be but be drawn into them. Why had he not seen it sooner? Why did he not acted on the man’s pull toward him?_

_Jim looks like a frightened child more than a man as his face displays the fear inside. “I’m scared Spock.. help me not be.”_

_Spock cannot hold back the tears which begin to form in his eyes. He never cried for the loss of his mother but now in this moment when faced losing the one person he feels a connection to,  the floodgates of emotion break through the rugged exterior of the half Vulcan. Never mind the Vulcan way, the teachings he has been taught to suppress them for Spock cannot…will not find logic in this._

_Waiting for his answer and when Spock remains transfixed on the scene before him Jim speaks again._

_“How do chose not to feel?”_

_Spock shakes his head, eyes cast down in disbelief that he cannot stop the tears from falling, he is losing Jim._

_His voice cracking further, “I do not know.” Spock looks to Jim with a heavy heart breaking in his side at the thought this bright light of a man will cease.  “Right now I am failing…”_

_Jim struggles as he tries to tell Spock,  “I want you to know why I wouldn't let you die… why I came back for you.”_

_“Because you are my friend.”_  
  
_As Spock’s words left his lips, Jim begins to weaken further and each breathe is more difficult than the last. With what strength he has left. Jim raises his left hand and places his palm against the glass panel…fingers spread apart as the Vulcan would on occasion to wish the other long life and prosperity but Spock feels this is more than that._  
 

 

 

  
  
_Spock lifts his left hand and places his palm against his. Even though separated by glass, it does not separate the mixture of emotions felt between both men._

 _The movement feels as though it can last forever and then…a peacefulness is seen in Jim’s face. He is unafraid as he faces the unknown once again perhaps for the last time.  His eyes move toward Spock, holding on to him. Spock is transfixed unable to move though his heart is breaking._  
  
_With his last breath Jim’s lip curls in a small smile as if to let Spock know it is alright even though Spock knows it isn't. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and if that is so, Spock is gladdened to know he has felt the soul of Jim touch his life._

_Jim’s hand falls away from the glass panel and Spock knows the once bright light that is James T. Kirk is no more, he feels more alone than he ever has in his life._

After reflecting on that day years ago,  Spock decides he will never look away from Jim’s eyes again. He will never turn away or shield his eyes away from the sun… **his las’hark**.

  
 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather than break this into a series, I decided to have it as a story. This would make it easier for me as well as my readers. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.


	2. Staying in Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim tries repeatedly to remain collected and calm but it's difficult to do when your mind drifts to the sight of pointed ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather than have las'hark as a series, I have decided to have it as a story with multipe chapters.

_**Personal log of James T. Kirk** _

**Stay calm around Spock. Stay collected, if not slightly pissed off. Don’t fidget with your hands, don’t touch your mouth, don’t shuffle your feet.**  
  
+       +       +

 

“Remain, calm, serene, always in command of yourself.” Jim chanted to himself like a mantra as he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

 

For the last several months before alpha shift, the Captain reminded himself he needed to maintain collected and calm, when inside Jim felt embarrassed with his first officer's reaction toward him as of late.

Up to now, he was undaunted at the task of command. Four years earlier as the youngest star-ship captain, he could face the enemy fearlessly. James T. Kirk could rely on his unorthodox strategy against the odds as well as form adequate observations and conclusions in the dangerous of missions. Lately, he hasn't been able to do much of either, finding it difficult to maintain his exterior due to his affections for a certain Vulcan.

 

If Jim Kirk could handle Nero, Khan and Krall and coming back from the dead, surely he could keep himself together in front of Spock.

Their relationship as a command team got off to a rocky start, he would admit to that, being thrown head first into a frigid ice planet not to mention an attack of Nero....how could have there been any other way to begin their working together?

Years serving on the fleet's finest and little time for any other measure of a normal life made a person long for something else and for Jim it was Spock. He had grown closer to Spock after his awakening from death. Time spent playing chess, visiting the labs and occasional shore leave was becoming a routine for the pair. Jim didn't know what to make of it.  
  
He found himself thinking more of Spock than in all the years before. Noticing how Spock's lips curled ever so slightly when he discovered something of scientific interest, how he kept his hands rigid against the his lower back but only moved them to his side when near him, or how Spock had a tendency to look at Jim's lips when he spoke. The one thing Jim couldn't get out of his mind the most were those ears, tips perfectly tapered at the tip. He imagined running his fingers against the top of those ears. Wondered how sensitive they would be against a tongue?”

“Captain.”

Turning around quickly, “Yes Commander?”

“The data has been collected and forwarded to the ship. We are awaiting your authorization for the landing party to beam up.”  
  
“Yes, thank you Spock.”

Turning his command chair, “Lieutenant Uhura please contact away team for further instructions on coordinates to beam up.”  
  
Looking over a message from Start-fleet, the Captain rises from his seat, “Spock, we have received a subspace message from star fleet.”  
  
“Sulu you have the conn.”

  
As Spock follows the Captain into the turbolift and  the doors close behind them, Jim does not hesitate to inform him of their new orders.  
  
"I am sorry commander but the information on the data collected will have to wait, we've been ordered to change course.”  
  
"I see." Spock stated.  
  
"Well, we can't always get what we want." Jim replied thinking about the officer standing before him.  
  
"It is not my desire which compels me complete the mission, it is science and the further study of the planet's soil composition which could benefit other colonies within the quadrant... Captain."

  
Jim didn't argue his first officer's statement. He knew Spock's interest was in the planet's structure, never mind it would have been a good place for a short shore leave and **_those Vulcan ears_**....

Jim clears his throat, “We been ordered near the Romulan neutral zone, there has been a distress signal reported from a one man vessel which has fallen victim to a meteor swarm. The Enterprise is the closest Federation vessel.”

“Understood, it should take the ship approximately 6.78 hours to arrive there.”

“Then perhaps the science department will have some time for analysis of the data we collected in the Cereberus system.”  
  
Spock raised an eyebrow, “Thank you, Captain. I will inform Lieutenant Saval.”

“No need to thank me Spock, I know how important the data is. There are many Federation colonies that have experienced agricultural concerns with crops in the last several years. If we can determine how one area of the system is able to sustain growth, we maybe able to save others.”  
  
Without realizing it Jim was fidgeting with his hands, it was a nervous habit he had since childhood. Never being able to sit still, even when he was scolded for doing it. If it was one thing Jim was good at it… it was talking animatedly with his hands.  
  
Spock noticed the Captain's hands as they waved when speaking. Jim's hands were not long and slender as a Vulcan's however Spock found them attractive to view. He observed on many occasions, the younger man motioned with them when emphasizing a stronger point or telling a story.  
  
Another observation Spock noted about the Captain was he often placed his hands on his heart when he felt strong sentiment. Spock began to wonder as he viewed the younger man's hands, how they would feel against his. He quickly put aide those thoughts once Jim spoke.

“I am doing it again aren't I.” Jim confessed bringing his hand to his mouth as he viewed Spock's face in curiosity.  
  
“Yes it is most peculiar. I have observed you gesture with your hands 89.73 percent.  
  
“Well, apparently you're counting.” Jim blushed as he tried not to shuffle his stance not to mention bringing his hand to his mouth again. _Focus Jim ..focus..stay calm and collected._  
  
“It could not be helped as you are in direct line of sight.” Spock noted.  
  
What Spock would not say was how he found it amusing yet endearing when Jim spoke this way. It was as if Jim were anxiously proving himself to that he understood.

  
Spock was grateful that Jim allowed the time spent before arriving at their destination on the much needed analysis of the soil samples obtained. Spock silently hoped it was Jim's way of proving himself to him, that he valued the Vulcan as much he valued Jim.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: In Star Trek the Animated Series (season 1 episode 6) there was reference to a Federation colony in Cereberus system which had suffered crop failure and the population faced starvation. JoAnna McCoy and her mother were among the colonists there. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.


	3. Closing in the Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprise reaches the edge of the Romulan neutral zone, more questions arise as they meet the individual they have rescued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may recognize the new character if you remember ever watching Star Trek: the animated series.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.
> 
> NOTE: If the images appear too small for viewing, bare in mind most of my readers view my stories on their mobile phones so I take that into consideration. If you would like to view the images in their original size you can see them clicking [HERE](http://hellobluemeetsgreen.tumblr.com/post/158527421752/images-i-am-working-with-for-my-next-chapter-of) as they are on my Tumblr page.

_**Personal log of James T. Kirk  
** _

**Keep your distance and focus only on his face.**

Tell him off when he gets too close. Make sure to breathe, even though he can be intimidating. Make sure you keep your eyes on a fixed part of his face, and keep them from looking up and down his body.  
  
  
  
+        +       +

 

  


When the ship landed near the edge of the Romulan neutral zone, Jim exhaled silently a long breath as he sat in the command chair. He hoped this routine rescue mission would stay that way... routine and nothing else.  
  
“Mr. Sulu, do we have a visual on the vessel?”  
  
“Coming within range Captain, it appears scans detect severe damage to the hull.”  
  
"Lieutenant Uhura, send a subspace message to the ship.”  
  
“Yes, Captain.”  
  
As Uhura tries repeatedly to send word to the vessel. “Captain, no response.”  
  
“Spock, what do your sensors indicate

  


Jim tried not to look at Spock's backside no matter how inviting it appeared from where he sat even if said Vulcan was standing next to his ex. He knew Vulcan hearing was superior, it stood to reason Spock's other senses would be also. Jim shivered at the thought his first officer knew he was being viewed.  
  
"Sensors indicate the occupant of the vessel is still alive, but unconscious.”

“Uhura, notify Doctor McCoy to met us in transporter room 3 and have him standby with a standard medical kit. Commander Spock come with me.  
  
As they enter the turbo lift, the Captain notices Spock is standing much closer then he usually is. Jim can feel the Vulcan's breath against his neck even though they are standing 2 feet apart (60.96 centimeters). _**Spock's breath feels hot and Jim can't help but wonder how it would feel against him while those strong arms were cradling his waist.**_  
  
Jim decides then and there to move further away. He takes a step back and ends up tripping only to be caught a pair of arms from the one individual in the universe who can elicit a response from Jim that is both unnerving and exciting at the same time.  
  
“Damn it Spock, I can get up by myself.”  
  
“I apologize for the intrusion, you appeared to be lost in though. When you stepped back it resulted in a misstep. My attempt was to prevent injury, Captain.”  
  
Spock tensed, he wished to tell Jim how much he wanted to wrap his arms around him to express his thoughts on such a unique being... his th'y'la. He found little courage to do so and instead inferred the most logical reason in why he caught Jim.  
  
Luckily, Jim seemed to accept Spock's answer. After adjusting his command uniform, the Captain thanks his first officer as the turbo lift doors open.

  
  
+       +      +

 

As they enter the transporter room, Doctor McCoy is already present. He does not look altogether pleases he is there but the Captain's order is an order after all.  
  
“What this about Jim? I'm knee deep in reports from all these evaluations on annuals and can't tell whether I am coming or going. Not to mention I have my own experiments to run since the buffoons Star Fleet recently assigned look like they never opened a medial text file in their youthful short lives.”  
  
Jim grinned, “You're just a ball of sunshine Bones.”

Spock spoke, “While the effect of sunshine in a limited time frame provides some health benefits to those in your galaxy, it would seem a ball of sunshine risks overexposure to the UV light from the sun which would result in harmful effects.'  
  
Nodding, “Exactly Mr. Spock.”  
  
Bones sneers at the Captain while he speaks, “Now gentleman let's see who it is we've rescued.”

 

As the pattern of molecules are put together after being scattered in transmission, they then merged together to form the individual which has garnered interest.  
  
'Incredible it's him” Bones gasps.  
  
“Noted interstellar trader who earned a reputation for galactic philanthropy, spreading his wealth far and wide in the furtherance of many humanitarian causes, Captain.”

“Mr. Carter, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Captain James Kirk, of the USS Enterprise. This is Commander Spock, my first officer and Dr. McCoy are Chief Medical Officer.”

  
“I'm especially honored to meet you Mr. Winston. My daughter was attending school on Cerberus several years ago when crop failure occurred.”  
  
Turning to the Captain, McCoy concludes, “The entire population would have starve Jim, if Winston here had not used his fortune to arrange transport of enough food and goods to carry them through the crisis.”  
  
Spock observed the man, “Scanners detected you were unconscious, we had expected there to be some injures present.”

'Pish Posh Spock, the man seems fine to meet if you ask me you need to tweak your scanning equipment.” McCoy grumbled.  
  
“Doctor McCoy, it is a Star Fleet regulations that all those who board a Federation Star ship vessel must present credentials to be verified. I assume you have your identity chip with you Mr. Winston.”  
  
“My sincere apologies Captain, in the throes of getting getting rescued, I did not anticipate this. It was left on my ship, if you would permit...”  
  
As Mr. Winston tried to explain, a loud explosion on the port side of the ship was heard and shook the ship.

The Captain contacts the bridge, “Mr. Sulu report.”  
  
“The vessel imploded before the explosion, there appears to be no reason for the cause. Should I send a probe for analysis Captain?”  
  
'Yes, Mr Sulu. Mr. Spock will oversee the data once it was been collected. Kirk out.”  
  
“Well, Mr. Carter I believe your credentials will not be necessary in this situation.”  
  
“May I point out Captain, a medical examination would seem logical since Mr. Winston may have been exposed at some point during the meteor swarm when the vessel’s hull was breached.”

  
“I'm sorry Mr. Winston but Commander Spock is correct. If you'll follow Doctor McCoy, he will lead you to Medical for the examination. We will met with you at a later time to discuss our findings of the analysis.”  
  
“Captain, there's no need. It was an old ship, I am surprised it lasted as long as it did.” Winston replied.

As the doctor and Mr. Winston depart for Medical, Spock pulls Jim aside. His hands rest on the corner of Jim's elbow.  
  
“Hey, I am not going to fall here Spock. What's going on?”  
  
“For someone as wealthy as Mr. Carter, one would believe he would be traveling in a ship of a newer design, not the one he was found in.”  
  
“Well Spock, it's called sentiment. Maybe this ship had some personal value to Mr. Winston, we don't know.”  
  
'Yes it is the not knowing of this individual and why their vessel was in this area which has us at a disadvantage Captain.”

 

  
**BLUE_MEETS_GREEN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based the character of the individual in the one man vessel who was rescued on the philanthropist Carter Winston from the Episode 6 Season 1 from Star Trek the Animated Series. I grew up watching it on television and I still love watching it. It was vastly different from the norm of other animated shows at the time during the mid 70s. I was around seven when it first aired.
> 
> Of the three images used the only one I edited was the first one as it contained Dr. McCoy in the shot. I did not have time to edit the last photo as I intended. I did not have time due to working on another project.


	4. The Measure of a Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are more than they seem while others are plain to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based the character of the individual in the one man vessel who was rescued on the philanthropist Carter Winston from the Episode 6 Season 1 from Star Trek the Animated Series. Comments and kudos are appreciated.

 

 **Personal log of James T. Kirk  
**   
**If he** **ever helps you, make sure to blow it off as a favor. Keep to yourself how warm it makes you feel inside.  
**   
  
  **+        +        +** **  
**  
  
  
As standard protocol, Spock was not remiss in indicating Star Fleet regulation. Far be it from the Captain not to trust his first officer's determination of the events leading to where they were currently. Jim's first inclination as a Star Fleet officer would have been to remain in orbit and gather what information from the scattered fragments left of the one man vessel. With the Enterprise located at the edge of the Romulan neutral zone, the Captain could not afford to allow the ship to remain any longer risking detection and an assault by several scout ships he knew very well would be in the area once the Enterprise was detected.  
  
Jim's best option was allowing the probes to transmit any data in the short amount of time they had, then proceed to the nearest Federation outpost. There were too far from any star base and the young captain feels the hair on his neck stand just thinking of the scenarios which would be presented if the Enterprise was under attack.   
  
Sitting in his command chair, the captain contemplated his next move. “Sulu you have the con. Commander if you would accompany me to Sickbay, perhaps Dr. McCoy will have some information on our guest.”  
  
As they enter the turbo lift, Jim makes sure not to distract himself. He pushes his feelings aside and focuses instead on his role as Captain.

 “Spock, I have given some thought Mr. Winston. While I can't help but feel the man was merely placed in a dangerous predicament with his ship, there is question as to why he was this far out in the neutral zone. Granted it is a buffer zone at best between the Romulans and Federation but Mr. Winston risked not only himself and his ship but any Federation ship that answered his distress signal. Damn it, his ship was not without communications, he should have received warnings against travel in this section of the quadrant.”  
  
“You are correct Captain. We can surmise Mr. Winston ignored such warnings, believing perhaps he had reasons for not following them. It would be judicious taking advantage of the period before the Enterprises reaches the remote outpost.” Spock states.  
  
“Yes, yes I agree but McCoy may play the mother hen, he's is quite a fan of Mr. Winston.”  
  
“Mother Hen Captain?”

Jim smiles briefly, forgetting how some Human idioms seem to perplex Spock. As his smile widens, it is a pleasant look and Spock has already learned that his captain telegraphs his emotions very freely. The Vulcan wishes to make Jim smile forever even though it is illogical.  
  
Jim opens his mouth to say something but the turbo lift doors open. When they enter the Med bay, Dr. McCoy is at his desk viewing medical reports on several crewmen.

“Well Jim I hope you're satisfied. I ran a thorough examination and then some on Mr. Winston. Nothing out of the ordinary, except maybe a touch of degenerative joint disease. His readings were a slight off normal but I must say overall Carter is healthier then most men half his age.”

 “Bones, where is Mr. Winston?”

“He's still in examination, nurse Chapel is giving him an injection of cortisosteriod for the inflamation. He is waiting to speak with you. I tried to get him to his guest quarters but the man is as stubborn as a certain captain I know.”

“Well I guess we should keep our guest waiting any longer.” Jim replies as the doctor escorts Spock and him to exam room three.

“Mr. Winston, Dr. McCoy has informed me you wish to speak with me.”

 

“Yes, Captain Kirk. My apologies if I hesitated in agreeing to submit to a physical. You see a man my age does not like to be reminded of what ails him, however I am grateful for Dr. McCoy's assistance in seeing to my health. I don't suppose you have any information on what was left of my ship.”

“In good time but first I have some questions of my own. Why were you this far out in the sector of space? The warning beacons alone should have given you enough time to leave before being detected by the Romulan Empire.”  
  
“Yes Captain, I received the warnings. I was desperate to shorten my passage to a nearby planet, I thought I could make it time. Unfortunately the meteor swarm came too fast and I did not have time to get my ship out of harm's way.” Carter explained.

“Well, Mr. Winston I'm glad we were able to help you when we did, unfortunately according to the scans, there was nothing we could detect as to why your ship was destroyed.” Jim explained.

 

“The Enterprise scanned your ship upon entering the area, the damage to the hull of your vessel should not have caused sufficient interference with your shields and lead to implosion.” Spock stated.

Winston looks at both the Captain and First Officer in disbelief. “I thought you said my ship had exploded originally.”

Spock counters, “That was our first conclusion, however recent scans detected no known fragments which had been charred in the wreckage. Although few fragments were found, there were two larger pieces which the Enterprise was able to beam aboard. I supervised the examination of the fragments myself.”

“Thank you gentlemen for your help, I apologize if I seem less than pleased.”  
  
“Forgive us Mr. Winston but you see you were found near the Romulan neutral zone. You ignored warnings, placed yourself and this ship in a dangerous position. We had no alternative but to beam the fragments aboard. Had they been found by the Romulans, it would give them sufficient cause for alarm.”

“Understandable Captain. I meant no ill will to you and your crew. A man in my position has so few friends, even fewer contacts. I am not as sociable as I was in my youth, please accept my apologies if I seem curt.”

 

“None taken Mr. Winston. The Enterprise is unable to take you to a star base however there is a remote outpost 12.6 hours from our current location. We have made arrangements with the U.S.S Lexington to transport you to Star base 12 once they arrive at the outpost within the next 2 days. I hope your stay at the outpost will be favorable.”  The Captain offers.  
  
Winston hesitates to answer, merely grinning ever so slightly. In truth the man is not pleased hearing this recent information that he will be cast aside only to wait for another star ship. He has heard a great deal about the Federation's flag ship and is reluctant to leave.  
  
Hoping to convince the captain otherwise, “Captain, I wonder if you would give an old man a tour of this grand vessel. I will not likely see such a wonder again in my life time.”  
  
“If you would like I can arrange for my first officer Commander Spock to escort you. I am afraid a captain's duties are never ending.”  
  
“Pity, I heard Dr. McCoy mentioned you were fond of Earth's literature, particularly the sixteenth century. I was a fan of Shakespeare, I think I must have read all his sonnets.”  
  
Jim's chest puffs with pride, “Well far be it from me to not converse with a fellow reader of Shakespeare's works. I suppose I can provide you with a tour and we can discuss the merits of his works. I have a few books in print. “

“Splendid Captain and you may call me Carter.” He smirks.

  
  
+        +        +  
  
  
  
Spock was not pleased that Mr. Winston was able to convince his Captain to provide him with a personal tour. The Vulcan found it odd he should think of his superior officer as his, however it is how Spock felt deep in his katra. Jim was his and while the Captain was not aware of it, Spock wanted the fact to be known to him. But how?  
  
Spock sat at the command chair contemplating what to do when Dr. McCoy contacted the bridge.  
  
“Dr. McCoy to Commander Spock.”  
  
“Spock here.”  
  
“I think you should come to sickbay, there's something we need to discuss.”

 “Shall I notify the Captain?”  
  
“No not yet, but if I am right then we need to proceed with caution.”  
  
When Spock left the bridge, he felt a faint touch to his mind as if someone has called out. Being a touch telepath on a ship of over 400 personnel, Spock had from time to time picked up thoughts from others. His Vulcan training had taught him to shield and rightly so...for a Vulcan to be constantly with close distance to others, he needed to remain shielded. Spock took a moment, closing his eyes in turbo lift to raise his shields, it seemed to work.  
  
Once he entered the Med bay, Dr,. McCoy wasted no time informing him of the readings the doctor had taken of their guest earlier.  
  
“Spock, occasionally I may get readings that are slightly off on crew personnel. At first I believed my instruments were off. Medical instruments need to be recalibrated from time to time.”  
  
“Which I am aware Doctor.” Spock replies.  
  
“Well, that's the thing. I checked the instruments I used on Mr. Winston's examination where calibrated that morning.”

 “May I see the readings.”

Dr. McCoy moves aside allowing Spock to view the results of the examination and lab results. Spock checks over repeatedly before coming to a assumption.  
  
“It appears there are few species whose readings match these. I know of only four, none of which closely resemble a humanoid form.”  
  
“Which means...”  
  
“Our guest is not Carter Winston.” Spock states.

 

+        +        +

_**Moments earlier....** _

 

After the tour was concluded, Carter suggested they view the books in the Captain's quarters. The Captain seemed less inclined to refuse, once Carter explained he had not seen any of Shakespeare’s works in print, only on a P.A.D.D. Jim was pleased to show off his collection of books. If only Spock showed some interest in them, he thought to himself.  
  
As they entered Jim's quarters, he offered Carter a drink. The older man declined saying he had enough drinking in his youth.  Jim turned his back to Carter, he poured a small amount of Vulcan spiced tea which Spock had given him for his last birthday. Jim found it amusing that Spock of all people remembered his birthday... besides Bones. Jim lifts the glass and before he can take a sip, something grabs him form behind. Seconds before he passes out, his calls out to Spock.  
  
  
The creature, a shape shifter lifts the unconscious body of the Captain and places him on the bed, then takes on the form of Captain James T. Kirk.  
  
As Spock and McCoy reached the floor to the senior officers' quarters, they see Jim emerge from his cabin.  
  
“Captain, we need to discuss our recent guest. Dr. McCoy had shown me the results of Mr. Winston's tests...and”  
  
“Enough Commander, I think we've placed enough speculation on Mr. Winston. I have received orders from Star Fleet to proceed to lay in a course for Rator three. Now gentlemen. I expect you to follow my orders without question.”  
  
Spock looks puzzled but remains silent. Dr. McCoy makes a face as he argues over Jim's words.

“You listen here, you bumbling idiot. That man isn't Carter Wilson and I am sure of it. My instruments don't lie especially when they have been re-calibrated hours before. You can demote me all you want Jim but the truth is...”

  
“Dr. McCoy I would like you to re-calibrate those instruments if you will and I will talk to Mr. Winston myself. Now in the meantime let's proceed to Rator three”  
  
“Captain, Rator three is through the Romulan neutral zone. If the Enterprise is discovered, it nullifies the treaty...”  
  
“Commander, I know full well the terms of the treaty! I will ask that you refrain from questioning my orders. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be in my ready room reviewing the report I will be submitting to Star fleet on Mr. Winston's rescue.”

 

  
  
+       +        +  
  
  
  
It had been 2.5 hours since the Captain's outburst. Spock was viewing the man closely. Jim's mannerisms were slightly off but with the stress of being a star ship Captain, Spock considered that it was the cause. As the ship continued on course, Spock made note of ship's sensors.

“Captain, long range sensors detect an object. At this distance, I am unable to determine precisely what it is. It may be a trading vessel, however it does not seem prudent to take the risk of trespass into the Romulan neutral zone.”  
  
“Commander, I have spoke with Admiral Nogura at length and he assures me if is absolutely vital to get to Rator three in the shortest possible time. The survival of the entire planetary population may depend on it.”  
  
“An admirable mission Captain, however if we endanger the Enterprise..”

Jim cuts Spock off, “I would not made such orders if I didn't feel it safe. You have the con Mr. Spock, notify me when we reach orbit. I'll be in my ready room.”  
  
As the Captain leaves for the turbo lift, Spock recounts their earlier discussion in the turbo lift hours earlier. Jim was an exemplary Star Fleet officer but he would not endanger the crew or the ship in this manner.”

“Lieutenant Sulu, take the con.”  
  
Spock quickly enters the turbo lift. “Computer locate the Captain.”  
  
It responds. “The Captain is in his quarters.”  
  
  
  
+        +       +

Spock takes no time to rush to the officer's quarters where he finds Jim unconscious but slowly coming around.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“It would appear our guest is not Carter Winston but a shape shifter which has taken your form and has commanded the Enterprise on course to Rator three.”  
  
“But that's across the Romulan neutral zone, the treaty!”  
  
“As I am aware. If the ship is caught, it would mean war between Federation and the Romulan Empire.”  
  
“We can't take a risk he knows where on to him. Spock contact the bridge, have Sulu slow down our course, that should buy us some time.”  
  
“Spock to bridge.”

“Sulu here Commander.”  
  
“Is the Captain still on the bridge?'  
  
“Negative Sir, he left a few moment ago.”  
  
“Lieutenant. Slow our present course to Warp two.”

“Aye Sir.”  
  
  
When they reached Sickbay, McCoy is sitting at his desk.  
  
“What can I do for you Captain?”  
  
'I want some answers Bones. You said you doubted Carter said who he was.”  
  
“I completed my analysis and the tests are normal.” McCoy tells them.  
  
Spock lifts an eyebrow, “Are you sure Doctor McCoy, there is no possibility your instruments made an error?”  
  
“Well, there's always that possibility. I'll go over them again if you'd like.” McCoy says nonchalantly. 

“No Bones, that won't be necessary.” Jim replies.  
  
As the Captain and his first officer leave and stop by a corridor, Spock speaks.  
  
“Captain, did you notice the doctor's reaction when questioned that is a possibility of an error?”  
  
“Yes, he said there's always that possibility. And that is not like Bones at all.”  
  
When thy return to sickbay, it is empty. They hear a moan and find McCoy sitting on the floor groaning.  
  
Rubbing his forehead, 'I must have taken a little nap.”

“Doctor you are man of curious habits, but I have never known to nap on the laboratory floor.” Spock states.  
  
Jim walks back carefully observing the room. “There's something wrong about this room.”  
  
Rushing to one of the medical tables “Are right Winston, you can come out now. I suggest you show yourself or whatever it is you are!”  
  
McCoy looks on “Did you say I am a man of curious habits? Jim is talking to a table.”  
  
“I do not believe so Doctor.”  
  
Jim speaks aloud, “There used to be only two examining tables in this room. I have been here enough getting McCoy's hypos to remember that. Now there are three.”  
  
“I have just realized that.” Spock states.  
  
Jim grabs a vial, “This is a vial of orientine acid, Winston. It will burn through almost anything but this crystal. If you have never seem it work, allow me to demonstrate it for you.”  
  
Instantly the medical that was before the Captain transforms into something else.

  

 

Bones' eyes widen, “I saw that but I don't believe it.”  
  
“A Vendorian, Doctor. Their planet is quarantined and few individuals have ever seen them. The ability to rearrange their molecular structure into any object or species with the same general size and mass and their practice of deceit as a way of life puts them off limits within the Federation.”  
  
“Mr. Spock get a security team down here.”  
  
“Jim!” Bones exclaims as the creature attacks the Captain and lifts his body in the air.  
  
Spock quickly pushes forward using his Vulcan strength to fight off the creature before any harm comes to Jim. Bones rushes for a hypo, hoping to reach Spock. Spock attempts to each the Vendorian apply a nerve pinch but fails. He resolves to do anything to save his Th'y'la.  
  
After repeated attempts, Spock uses all his strength and charges with a blow that knocks the creature back and unconscious. It lets go of Jim who is caught in Spock's arms as McCoy injects a hypo that will leave the creature unconscious enough to transport to the brig.

 

  
  
+       +        +  
  
  
  
Jim slowly comes to, his body feels terrible but he knows he'll live. He turns and sees Spock sitting as his side with his hand grasped around Jim's.  
  
“Damn Vulcan has been here ever since we got the Vendorian locked away. It didn't take long for it to confess, damn thing was a spy for the Romulans. They wanted the ship and a reason for war. Spock estimates they would have succeeded had he not realized it wasn't you earlier.  We don;t know what happened to the real Carter Winston, but we can only imagine.”

“Spock saved my life. I suppose I should brush it off as a favor but knowing Spock he'll say he was just doing his duty.” Jim keeps it himself, how warm it makes him feel inside knowing how much Spock cares in his own way.  
  
“On the contrary, I did it for other reasons as well.” Spock states as he awakens.  
  
“I guess I'll leave you two alone Jim.” Bones smirks.  
  
“Okay so confess why Spock?” Jim says as he sits up.  
  
Spock looks down to their fingers entwined but he does not pull away.  “At some point in time, your mind called out to me. I can assume it was during the initial attack from the Vendorian in your cabin. When the creature attacked you a second time, I did not hesitate to rescue you and wait for you to reach out to me.”  
  
Taking in a deep breath. “Jim, you must know I do not see you merely as my Captain. You are my friend and yet you are more. I could not fathom my life without you in it, my greatest fear would be to lose you Las'hark.”  
  
“What does Las'hark mean?” Jim asks softly.  
  
“It means the sun, you are the sun James Kirk. There is no other light but you.” With that Spock lets go of Jim's hand and excuses himself to the bridge.  
  
Jim for once in his life, is left speechless...  
  
  
 

**BLUE_MEETS_GREEN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am glad I dd not break this into two chapters. I think it worked out as one. I hope you liked the ending of this chapter.
> 
> Note: The image I used as Vendorian is from the movie "Species." In truth a Vendorian looks much more like a squid like creature with tentacles.


	5. Reflection and Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim does the only thing he knows when it comes to love, run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with the updates on this story. It is not as long the previous chapter but it well worth the wait as Jim and Bones prepare for some well deserved time off. Comments and Kudos are appreciated.

 

 **Personal log of James T. Kirk** _**  
** _

**Make sure to drink enough to forget your First Officer just admitted he cares for you. If you are anticipating seeing him in the near future, head to a bar that night. Flirt with a girl or boy, anything rather than face the truth that you just might love the Vulcan back.**

 

It took a few days to sink in but Jim realized Spock had confessed he cared for him. In human terms, it was a confession of love if there ever was one. Jim felt like a child who got his birthday wish and did not know what to do with it. 

 

Sitting in his quarters, Jim deliberated on what his next move should be. Should he talk to Spock? Wait until Spock brought it up or leave things as they are? It didn't help that said Vulcan was away at a conference and would not be rejoining the Enterprise until they reached Sigma 12. The crew had been anticipating an overdue shore leave and so did Jim.  Down planet side, he figured there was not enough alcohol to forget that moment in sickbay, not that he wanted to forget but he just could not deal with it…yet. Before Jim could think any further, a chime at his door roused him.

  
“ Come.”  
  
  
Bones wasted no time making himself a drink and then proceeding to pour Jim one as well.

  
“You do realize I have to report for duty in 2 hours?” Jim huffed.

“Think of it as a prescription for that dazed look you'd had on your face for the past 3 days. You remind me of the time my ex-wife announced she was expecting. I had the same expression. So who did you knock up?”

“Nobody, darn it Bones, will you just sit down and I'll tell you.”

“Can I get a drink down first, Lord knows Jim when it comes to you nothing is ever easy. I might as well drink something smooth if I am going to take in what you're dishing out.”

Jim sat impatiently as Bones poured some brandy from a flask. The man took a swig and grinned. “You guys can take that Romulan ale all you want, it will never compare to this!”

“Fine Bones, next time we're in port remind me to restock your medicinal cabinet, just hear me out.” Jim replied.  
  
  
“Alright Jim, you have my undivided attention.”  
  
  
Jim swallowed a lump he had in his throat, he didn't know he had been holding on to. He felt as if he said the words out loud, he would realize what he heard from Spock was real and tangible.  
  
  
“Now don't react Bones, just listen okay...?

'You know how long I feel like there's something more to my friendship with Spock. I mean to say... remember when I told you what Selik shared with me on Delta Vega. In the mind meld I saw not only his encounter with Nero but the past, specifically the past from Selik's timeline. I saw my counterpart and Spock's working together on their Enterprise. I saw how they were able to face the odds against them time and time again. When they believe they couldn't they held on to each other to weather the storm. I viewed the sacrifices they made some were too great but they survived and in that journey they found one another and became one.”  
  
  
Bones took in the expression on Jim's face and he suddenly became aware of what was said in between the lines. He knew from observing his friends that they were quite fond of one another, it stood to reason any Spock and Jim regardless of the universe would find one another.  
  
  
'So you are telling me Spock gave you an indication he wants to be more than friends?”

  
“No not in the sense we would think.” Jim quietly replied.  
  
  
“Then what did he tell you?” Bones asked as he took in another swig of his drink.  
  
  
Pulling on the back of his collar, “Well I guess you had to have been there to know what I talking about but he called me Las'hark.”

Bones eyebrows furloughed, “So what's that mean?”

Jim smiled, “The sun. Spock called me the sun.”

  
“Now what did you get the idea Spock was making a declaration with that?”

  
“Because and I quote… “It means the sun, you are the sun James Kirk. There is no other light but you.”

  
“Well Jim it could either sound like anything, a Hallmark card moment or your First Officer has a thing for blond captains.” Bones blurted.

 

Adding “So how you gonna find out what Spock meant behind those words?”

  
“I don't know Bones. Spock's away at a conference. Even if he was here, I am not sure I could face him. You know what a fuck up I am when it comes to relationships or love for that matter. I can't face him just yet. I am just going to put him out of my mind for awhile.”

  
“And how pray tell will you be doing that?”

 

  
Bones puts two and two together and realizes Jim intends to do it during shore leave. “Oh no Jim. You can be serious about drinking this away. There isn't enough liquor down there for that. Besides someone could take advantage of you in that condition.”

 

“That is exactly why you are coming with me to make sure I don't get into trouble.”

 

“Oh hell no Jim. I'm game as any man for some shore leave but I wanna remember what I did and not rely on what someone told me I did while under the bottle.” Bones quipped.

“There's a case of Brandy in for you if you'll go.”

“Real Brandy? None of that synthetic stuff?”

“No Bones, real honest to goodness Brandy.”

“Well when are we leaving?” Laughed Bones as he patted Jim's back.  
  
  
  
After Alpha shift the Captain still felt odd. During the last several weeks he had been feeling of what he called a buzz in his head. Months ago it was like dealing with white background noise, but in the last several days since the incident with the Vendorian it had been louder. He should inform Bones, but Jim did not want to be subjected to any more of the Doctor's examinations. He still did not forget his last physical. Jim told himself he would mention it once they returned from shore leave.  
  
If it was one thing Jim was looking forward to, it was beaming down with Bones. Part of the Captain felt like the giddy cadet he was during their Academy days just thinking about hitting the taverns and soaking in the scene.  
  
' _ **Ouch!”**_ Jim felt an odd prick at the back of his head. He better get started on that drinking and soon.  
  
Lending over his desk, Jim opened the drawer and pulled one of the prescribed hypos Bones had given him. It was originally prescribed as an aid for sleeping but Jim figured he needed it if he was going to get any rest before their excursions planet side. He hoped is would rid of the persistent buzz in his head as well.  
  
  
  
\+           +          +

 

In the morning groups of crewmen signed up for shore leave began disembarking from the ship. They all looked as if they needed it and Jim was glad everything was running smoothly for a change. Part of him wondered if it was too good to be true and perhaps his ship wold be called upon at a moment's notice by the Star Fleet.  
  
Bones entered the bridge, “Well, Captain you ready?  
  
“Not quite yet Bones, I wold like to oversee all the remaining groups for today before we leave. I have to present a good example as Captain you know.”  
  
Bones laughed, “Yeah but I don't think you'll be thinking about that once we land.”  
  
Jim lifted his eyebrow, “Well, Bones I can always try but I think if I fail I have you to rely on.”  
  
“All kidding aside, have you thought about? You know. What you planning on saying once Mr. Green boards the ship?”  
  
Jim knew what Bones meant. The good doctor had always referred him and Spock as Mr. Blue and Mr. Green at times. It was strange hearing it but Jim said nothing only motioning for Bones to desist speaking further on the matter. Right now, Jim's priority was his ship and crew. He could think about Spock later.. much much later after a round of drinks and several days of relaxation.

 

\+          +          +  
  
  
  
Before leaving medical, the doctor sat at his desk. McCoy had decided at the last minute to send correspondence to several members of his staff including Dr. M'Benga with information on where Jim and he would be staying. He wanted to make sure if any of he was needed in an emergency he could be found.  
  
Bones didn't show it but he was actually excited about spending time with his friend. Jim and he had not done anything like this for some time and it felt long overdo. After concluding his task, he remembered to pack the essential hypos for Jim's allergies. There was no telling what could set them off and Bones wanted to play it safe. If Spock did care for his best friend as Jim believed then it was in the doctor;s best interest to ensure Jim's safety. He considered for a brief moment the consequences of dealing with the First Officer should something happen to Jim under his watch.  
  
Exiting Medical, he made his way to the shuttle hanger. Jim knew he hated using the transporter so his friend offered to pilot them to the planet surface. As he enter the area toward the hanger bay he was surprised to see Jim already there.

 

“Jim you look like fresh out of our Academy days.” Bones grinned.  
  
“Yeah well I wanted to clean up but I skipped on the shave. I at least want to appear close to my age, old man!”

“Who you calling old man? I may not show it but I can keep up with the likes of you.”  
“Oh really? Is that a fact?'  
  
Bone just laughed. “Come on kid, let's go have a good time.”

 

**BLUE_MEETS_GREEN**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The constant uneasiness Jim feels in this chapter is relevant to the story. He may not know what it is but he will as the story progresses. 
> 
> My user name Blue Meets Green came as a result from Jim (for his eyes) and Spock (for his skin tone). Some of my friends believe it because I have green eyes and my man has blue eyes. Nope, it's because of SPIRK. LOL


	6. Hitting the mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Bones reminisce while Spock is distracted at the conference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long delay. My laptop which had all my updates for my stories was stolen early in January. I slowly re-writing what I can from memory.

 

 **Personal log of James T. Kirk** _**  
** _

_Hell, it doesn’t matter WHAT you hit on. As long as you can forget your first officer and his confession or lack of one for his recent behavior toward you._

It was a treasure trove of bodies on display at the establishment they entered. Jim hoped he would not be recognized and was grateful he thought to arrive planet side in civilian attire.

 

 

 

 

Jim smiled as saw his Chief Engineer admiring several women moving in what was called the dance of scarves. Kenser was sitting across from him looking bored. Instantly the Scotsman sits up once he sees Jim. “Captain, fine seeing you here.”  
  
Placing his finger against his own lips, “We're not on board Scotty so drop the titles.”  
  
“Yes, yes. I understand. Who knew there were such lovely customs here.” Scotty piped. “Jim, It is true all the dancers here...”  
  
Nodding, “The people of this planet think very highly of their pleasure.”

Bones quips, “Now that's an understatement if I ever heard one. This is a complete hedonistic society.”  
  
Jim smirks, “Well, I will say there's an abundance from which to chose from, wouldn't you say Bones?”  
  
'That depends on what you plan on doing Jim.”  
  
“Now look here Doctor,  I was talking about the drinks not the dancers.” Jim explained.  
  
“If you say so.” Bones wasn't too sure what exactly what his friend was implying. "I suppose I should have known better than to think you'd mean that.” Bones bashfully replied.  
  
“It's okay Bones. The thought crossed my mind in coming here but I guess I'm too old for that anyway.”  
  
“Now don't think the prized stallion's days are numbered. You're still young and there's no reason why you shouldn't have a good time but I understand you wanting to set a good example for the crew even on shore leave.”

 Jim looked across the expanse of the club. In his youth, he would not have wasted anytime trying to hook up with someone here. Years later, Jim knows that sex does not equate into anything long lasting if there aren't any real emotions behind it. His dilemma about his feelings for his First Officer and the realization that Spock might feel the same way only surfaces in his mind. Suddenly, the place feels less inviting.

“Penny for your thoughts Jim.”  
  
Inhaling a long breath and then slowly releasing it, Jim thought about what to say. He didn't want to ruin their night out by talking about his problems in dealing with his affections for his First Officer. Instead Jim decided to talk about something else.  
  
“So I hear your birthday is coming up, any plans?”

 “I might just visit the old homestead if my ex-wife didn't take that too already but I am sure the family home is safe in my Ma's hands.” Bones joked.  
  
“Yeah you mom is one tough lady. I remember the last time we saw her she wouldn't take no for an answer when I told her I wasn't interested in your sister. I thought for sure she'd bring out a shot gun and force me to go out with her.”  
  
Laughing, “That was funny I'll admit besides it wouldn't work out.”  
  
Wiggling his eyebrows, “Oh and why not?”  
  
Taking a shot of his drink, “For one you're too good for my sister and secondly you don't play the for the same team. I had a hard enough time explaining to Ma you weren't into serious relationships, how could I convince her the dashing handsome James T. Kirk was not a ladies man but a man's man if you know what I mean.”

Jim smirks back as he takes his second glass to his lips. Bones sits back and watches Scotty approach a woman at the bar. “Looks like Scotty got some liquid courage.”  
  
Jim replies, “Yes liquid courage, boy did I rely on that way too many times in my youth.” As he says it, he suddenly sets down his drink.

 

 

   
Bones looks down at his own glass, thinking back.  “I remember my Pa taking me to my first topless bar when I was sixteen. We spent a a couple of hours in that place and my old man taught me that night the difference between a woman and a lady. When we got home Ma was sitting on front porch with a broomstick in her hands and a scowl in her face alright. Pa swore the next time we'd head out was when Ma was visiting her family.”

“So did you guys head out again when your mother went to see her family?”  
  
“No, by then Pa's health had declined. We told each other we'd go next Spring but by then he was too sick.” Bones said as he looked into his glass.  
  
“I guess you and I have a lot in common, becoming men on our own without our fathers.” Jim confessed.  
  
“Well Jim I think I had it lucky. I had my Dad's influence in my youth but you never got that chance thanks to Nero.”  
  
“I know Bones but I can't look at the past anymore. You said it yourself on the ship that night we drank Chekov's scotch. You said I spent all this time trying to figure out what it meant to be George Kirk and now I was wondering what it means to be Jim, why I'm out here. You were right, I found my calling after we saved Yorktown and it's on the bridge of the Enterprise.”  
  
Shaking his head, “Do you realize you gave up the position Vice-Admiral?”

'Yeah I did but Vice-Admiral's don't fly Bones. I can't see myself sitting behind a desk letting all these young fly boys have all the fun can I?”  
  
“No I suppose you can't. Space is in your blood kid, and I don't you'll ever run out of it especially with Spock at your side.”  
  
“You know sometimes I wonder if I am holding Spock back. He wanted to continue the efforts on New Vulcan after Spock Prime passed on. Maybe he should have gone instead of sticking with me. Heck I don't even know if he loves me... the way...”  
  
“You love him?” Bones added.  
  
“Was it that oblivious?”

 “No but to a well trained eye like yours truly, I saw it coming before either of your idiots  
did.”  
  
“Hey!” Jim shouted.  
  
“Well, you are both idiots in my opinion, You both have been dancing around your feelings for each other for years and I for one am tired of it. Ask Spock out and tell him how you feel you damn fool. You should out with Spock, instead your sitting with me doing God knows what with your liver drinking these drinks.”

Bones notes the melancholy in his friend's face. Thinking Jim might need a little push, “I hate to be the odd man out but I think I'll excuse myself tonight. I think you should do the same Jim.”  
  
I guess you're right. What was I thinking anyway? Trying to drink my troubles away isn't going to solve anything. Let's go Bones.”  
  
“Hold on let me just drain the snake first.” He quipped. As his friend left to relieve himself, an attendant brings Jim a drink. “No thank you, I did not order this.” Jim confessed.

“It is a gift from a fan who only wishes to thank the Federation on its service.” The attendant pointed to a tall man who nodded in Jim's direction.  
  
'Oh well then thank you.” Jim smiled as he took the drink. It wasn't long before

Jim's vision became cloudy and his vision went dark.  
  
  
  
+       +        +

 __ **  
  
A few hours earlier.**  
  
As the last day of the conference came to a close, Spock found himself relieved for once. While he was able to gain some knowledge from the symposium on recent star charts and the discovery of a new star system, his thoughts were elsewhere.  
  
Ever since he spoke with Jim in the medbay, he felt Jim distancing himself further. Had Spock misjudged his Captain? Could Spock have been mistaken with Jim's facial features at times, his mannerisms when they were alone on the turbo lift or when they played chess together? Did Spock see something that was not there all along?

  
Instead of second guessing himself as humans would say, Spock shut those thoughts out. He needed to focus on the conference, he could speak with the Captain after some deep meditation upon boarding the ship.  
  
It seemed the environment in which the conference was held reminded Spock of Jim. From the blue linens draped across the tables, the indigo in the current of the waterfall which was displayed in the center of the hall to the deep teal colored appetizers being served. It seemed everything reminded Spock of Jim's beautiful eyes.

Spock sat rigid against his chair trying to listen to the last guest speaker only to feel the man's voice drown out bu the weight of Spock's thoughts of Jim. The Vulcan knew their was no use in remaining any longer. Having excused himself, Spock gather his belonging and made arrangements for a shuttle to rejoin the Enterprise.  
  
During his flight on route to the Enterprise, Spock thinks about what he will say to Jim. He wonders if he made it clear to the younger man his true feelings for him. Did Jim know Spock loved him more than a brother, more than a friend and more than a lover.  
Jim was more than this to Spock and the Vulcan knew that no more time should be wasted between them. Spock had to know how Jim felt about him.  
  
As Spock came within communications range, he notified the ship. Nyota's voice was a welcomed sound. Spock considered requesting to speak with the Captain but hesitated as he believed it would give Jim time to reflect on his own words. The First Officer wanted to catch Jim off guard so he asked his friend not to inform the Captain of his impending arrival.  
  
When Spock boarded the ship, he hoped he would be greeted by Jim. Instead he was greeted by an ensign. It was not long before Spock was in his cabin in deep meditation.  
  
 

Afterward, Spock entered the ship's database library to log in the information he found useful from the conference.  
  
It was then that Spock felt it, the thread of the small link he shared with Jim was being lit and then went dim. Before he contacted the bridge, Nyota notified him of Lt. Commander Scott's transmission from the planet surface.

 

  ****

**BLUE_MEETS_GREEN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have some time with Jim and Bones before anything drastic happened. Kudos and comments are appreciated.


End file.
